Hero-shima

That Angry Black Bitch and I have been having relationship problems with Katie, Matt, Ann and Al for the past few months. Today’s Today show finally did it for me.

They’ve been running this special – Average Suburban White People Who Do Really Neat Things: (And here’s the really fun part, pick your heart-rending situation):

• We Are Poor – but Proud
• My Children Don’t Have Legs
• I Was Abandoned (parents, husband, wife, etc.) – But I Made It Through with Dignity
• Someone in our Family Is Autistic – but We Still Love Him/Her
• We Chose to Adopt Six “Problem” Children

They also honor folks like, “ I’m from West Virginia, have eight children who don’t talk too good, but I still live ‘em, and I just volunteered to join the Army, coz I love America more” …..and folks like….. “I fell off my girlfriend’s balcony while drunk and am in a wheelchair, but don’t I inspire you?”

Well, maybe I exaggerate a little, but you get the point……it’s all about nice white people who have “problems” but have overcome them in the most heart-warming NBC Dateline kinda way. And they’re surprised by an audience of hundreds of well wishers – “hidden” right outside the doors of wherever the live interview is taking place. Yeah – several hundred people right outside your door is some surprise, especially since they’re cheering the whole flipping show.

So…in today’s segment we heard how this great couple has done so much for these “poor” children and then there’s a special surprise where the parents are rewarded with a vacation. Yeah – that’s a really great message for kids that have “problems” and have been “abandoned.” Mommy and Daddy love you soooo much that these nice TV people are sending Mommy and Daddy away for a vacation from your trouble-making, stress inducing, limbless, nights-by-the-bedside, awe (or is that awwwwwwww)-inducing ass. And guess what kids!?! Your crazy “grandma,” who thought they were crazy for adopting you in the first place, is gonna watch you while they’re gone! Better yet – some no-name amateur local sports celebrity is going to take you to Olive Garden every night while Mommy and Daddy have a good time away from you, while “Grandma” gets drunk in her trailer.

Maybe I’m just all cynical and shit – but if they really wanted to do something “special” for these Everyday Heroes – why doesn’t GE and NBC cough up a college fund, send grannie to rehab, get the kids some new prosthetics and pay for the family’s mortgage?