Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle

Somedays I don't feel like a real person.

Today is one of those days.

I wrote a friend today that
"I've been trying to be more upbeat lately, because I can readily find myself in a very dark corner of the world much too easily. I also find myself hoping that by thinking hard enough, I, too can be a kind and good person, and not just some clever, manipulative asshole."

Kinda bleak, huh?

I'm really not trying to be a drama queen. I'm just realizing that I have crappy empathetic skills and am not a very good friend, son or sibling at the moment.

I question my motives for everything I do and say.

All I have right now is a work ethic -- it's a damn serious work ethic -- but I'm feeling morally bankrupt. No, I'm not pushing little old ladies in front of moving cars, but this steady grind of nothing but work and putting on the persona is wearing me out. I usually thrive when there's this much going on.....but not now.

I need a vacation. Posted October 10, 2003 09:33 PM| TrackBack