Car Parts, Bottles and Cutlery

I spent yesterday helping Stephen pack his things. Soon, he will load up his U-Haul and move to Washington D.C. I wish I could say that I was happy for him – which I guess I am – but I am also very sad. Saying goodbye to friends is always rough. And after a week of loss – his departure is a real kicker.

I met Stephen when he was a guest on the radio show I engineered. He’d left the military as a conscientious objector and was talking about his life in the Air Force. I remember when he walked into the studio, my first thought was, “whoa…he’s pretty….” and my next thought was “pay no attention to him,,,,,you don’t even exist in his pretty boy world….so save yourself the trouble.”

He was perhaps one of the best guests we ever had on the show. Literate and articulate, he really sparkled on air and told a compelling and interesting story. I remember that I’d look up from the board every now and then, and when his bicep would bulge under his tight black tee shirt, I’d just turn back to the board and feign disinterest.

In reality, I was listening intently to what he was saying – which made him all the more attractive. He wasn’t a bimbo. I guess that sounds bad – but lots of very attractive boys are vapid and kind of boring. But Stephen had something insightful and well-considered to say about the military, about being gay and what he felt about life and war.

After the show, I don’t think I was particularly rude to him – but I was not especially nice. But we’d talked about a couple of things going on in town – and you can only imagine my surprise when he called me and said he wasn’t using his tickets to an event (Star Wars LIVE!) and offered them to me.

Well, the crush was on….for about a week. I’d talk about “super dreamy Stephen” and when folks would ask me why he was dreamy, I’d pretty much just talk about what he said on the show. I started to realize that I liked Stephen personally and the libido-induced-bicep-ogling was replaced by a real interest in getting to know more about his politics and his thoughts and his interests. I guess I matured or something…….

Anyway, he’s leaving now and I cannot find the maturity to be happy for his change in life. I’m sad and blue. And even though living in St. Louis has been torturous for him at times, I wish he’d just stay here and suffer with the rest of us. Actually, that’s not true… I wish my friends and I could all be in a place that wasn’t as stifling – where we’d all have great jobs that would afford us time to have as much fun as we did at his going away party (pictures below).

I guess what I’m going to miss about him the most is that despite his incredible knowledge of literature and music, he knows shit about pop culture. He probably couldn’t name the girls in Facts of Life, and he never will and would never want to, either. He loves Hyperballad as much as I do……and he’s turned me on to some other amazing musical artists. We’ve spent evenings drinking coffee, afternoons making crepes and a lot of time just talking.

A lot of people add value to your life by bringing similar things to the table. Stephen brought totally different experiences with him. And that’s a lot more memorable and more important to me than bulging biceps.

Good luck, Stephen, I’m going to miss you. Lots.

The Festive Holiday Hat, usually out only in December....comes out for the Farewell Party.

I've never met anyone who loves fingernail polish as much as Stephen does.

It's not a party 'til the guest of honor takes off his clothes.....or most of them.