Is there a Doctor in the House?

I woke up this morning a little under the weather. I thought my 20 mile bike ride Saturday had done me in, since it has been so long since I’ve ridden, I'm so outta shape, etc.

I think I’m just plain-ole-sick. I wish I was just sore from the workout. I feel like shit - and it's getting worse.

See, whenever I swallow, (which, right now, is, like, totally all the time, OMG!) a gooey pile of phlegm, feeling like it’s coated in broken glass, shoots out of a overly raw hole just beneath my ear and painfully zigzags down my throat. Upon catching this painful lump in the base of my throat, I suck it down and am met by an intense pain that extends upwards from my clavicle, coursing through my cheeks, pushing out another hot and nasty ball of snot to take its place.

The lymph node under my ear is hot and throbbing, my body is chilled to the core and there is a nasty pain in my throat that won’t go away.

Waaahhhhh.