Mister PIB

I want y’all to meet Matt, my new Pretend Internet Boyfriend (PIB, get it???!!??). I met him today and it’s like, totally amazing.

I was so surprised meeting someone so special. My dating life has pretty much been decimated since I’ve slept with all my friend’s ex-boyfriends in the past three weeks. In retrospect, that wasn’t such a good idea. I mean, I watched Melrose Place and all, but I don’t remember much from, oh, early 1993 to late 1998. Rather than being pessimistic, but not actually bothering to try meeting guys at places other than Fantasy Land “bookstore” or in the bathroom at the Super Wal-Mart at 3 a.m., I decided to go a new route!

I’ve been seeing all these stories on the Today show about online dating and I swear, it’s so true – you can totally find love on the internets. Oh, I’m not talking about www.men4skank2nite.com, Yahoo chat rooms filled with married bi-curious guys that need to travel, or Republican Newspapers featuring gay hooker editors. No, I’m talking about real dating – like learning stuff about guys. And it’s much more than just learning whether they’re a top, bottom or the dreaded “versatile” ( I really don’t want to explain that part – that’s way too personal for an online forum that anyone can read). Sheesh!

See, by typing into Google, I found these people called blogsters and they write all this cool stuff about themselves and important life changing events all around the world. Dating them online is really easy and fun, too. This is how you do it -- find someone that strikes your fancy and then all of a sudden, you’re totally learning everything about them and then you’re suddenly having the best relationship you’ve had with a guy in, like, ever!

I mean, I know so much about Matt now. He’s from New York, he blogs and stuff, and I bet he knows Mindy Cohn, too. I wrote him a note and he wrote back and then I wrote back asking him to be my Pretend Internet Boyfriend and in a couple of hours (after he went to happy hour, I think), he replied:

FR: Matt
TO: Me
SUBJECT: Keeping Secrets (Note: This is a “inside” joke between the two of us)

I've never had a PIB before. Let me know if I go too fast, or if I'm not sensitive enough to your needs, K? I really want this to work.

See…he read my blog too and could totally tell how serious I am about life and stuff and about how much I wanted him to be my PIB. Oh, my God! I never knew that I could like totally fall for somebody in less that 3 and a half hours – but wow! The world is just moving so fast because of iPods and DSL, I guess.

The best part is that even if Matt and I don’t work out, there’s thousands, hundreds two blogsters that I can still stalk e-mail and maybe magic will happen again.