Not Without My Molars or Gimme Your Teeth and Nobody Gets Hurt...

While I suppose this story: Could your child's baby teeth be a life saver? might well end the stem cell debate, I have my suspicions.

In this brand new research, about to be released later today by the NIH and the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, it looks like there's another place to find stem cells that can give rise to bone and neural cells — inside the pulp of baby teeth when they are lost by a child — and that this non-controversial source of stem cells could be banked for future health needs.

I think not.

Let's look at the bigger picture.

See pouty, little Kathy to the left?

Does she look happy to you?

Do you think that little red headed girl's other teeth are safe when Little Miss Kathy has no neural cells in her "bank?"

And it's bigger than evil, little Kathy. I can just see the Dateline special now: children being yanked out of school yards and having their teeth extracted for black market stem cells.

It's a Lifetime, Television For Women feature film of the week starring Meredith Baxter Birney Baxter Whatever: Not Without My Molars.

Can't we just keep tricking children with stories about Tooth Fairies and leave them a Sacagawea coin under their pillow and just be done with it?

Must we advance the cause of science at the expense of children's safety?

Wait for some wacko to start pulling teeth.

It'll happen.

And there will be a very special Law & Order about it, too. One of those double-edged sword stories during sweeps. Dreamy Chris Meloni's daughter's teeth get jacked while he's investigating the death of a stem cell researcher. He's opposed to stem cell research and is conflicted all show long for "moral reasons." Then his kid turns up needing dentures and he'll utter something semi-profound.

It'll really make you think, especially if there's a scene with him without his shirt on.

And that's my telepathetic pop culture insight for the week.