Thank You For Being a Friendster

After having a most enjoyable weekend that involved a trip to the circus, over-acting a scene in the 48 Hour Film Project, making out with a cute boy and a chance trip to a daytime baseball game (with thousands of shirtless, sports-loving fellas), I awoke this morning giddy from fun times and thinking about what I was going to write on my Pretend Internet Boyfriend’s site that I’m co-editing for the next two weeks.

I woke up early, washed some dishes and checked my e-mail. Oh, look! My pal Ryan had invited me to be a friend on Friendster. With a few keystrokes, I’d approved his request...and that should have been the end of it.

But no.

I had to be all Sabrina Duncan and snoop around the list of folks that were linked to me on there.

And if you live anywhere near the Shaw Neighborhood, the momentary eclipse of the sun and dark clouds surrounding my Bohemian getaway can be best explained when I stumbled across the message below on the profile of a fella that I once flew across the country to meet:

In a relationship?

Who? When? How? What?

Oh, kids...how the mind can race through thousands of questions when accidentally stumbling across information that would have been better delivered in person. But of course, that’s not the case.

After my tragic emotional breakdown and heartfelt confessions, I’ve been on perpetual ignore. No news. No e-mails. No Instant Messages. I suspect that even once when I called, the phone clicked on and then off. Yes – a brush off via hang up.

I sat at my desk, cigarette dangling from my mouth...thinking…plotting...swirling with the rage induced by the internet version of a Post-It-Note get lost and get over it.

I see.

How nice.

How very, very nice.

I sat there, thinking that being open and honest and sincere and affectionate and giving had been a big ole waste of my time and money. I sat there, feelings welling up...bitter bile dripping from my mouth and fingertips.

And then I realized that I could write this really bitchy post and I felt all better.

That is, after I deleted him from my list of Friendsters.

I want a different assignment, Bosley.

This case is closed.