July 12, 2005

United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks

You're invited to the first meeting of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks.

You see, a certain Angry Black Bitch and I have turned to the founding principles of this country: capitalism and churchification to create a movement based on one simple premise:

It's not about getting well, it's about getting even.

And revenge, my dear, is a drink best served cold. What you put in it is your own damn choice. Much like L. Ron, we believe in the principles of self-determination.

We are of course, looking for disciples. If you're a fan of history, you know that most major religions have begun with impoverished visionaries that suffer from delusions of grandeur. We fit that bill to a tee.

So, you're invited to head on down to the meeting house this Saturday night. We're looking for acolytes to spread the word.

Saturday, July 16
Grandma's Politician's Club
4170 Manchester
St. Louis, MO 63110
Services begin sometime around 10-11 P.M.

It's easy to find us.

Look for the PBR sign - displayed without irony.

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Upon entering, you will be dazzled by the beauty of more un-ironic treasures.

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Notice the fine statues of the world and tin-foil wall coverings.

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The altar, offering numerous choices of supplication.

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Practice our mantra in front of the wall of mirrors. "It's all about me....me....me!"

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Our sanctified symbol - a pink glitter flamingo.

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Enjoy a moment in our outdoor garden of bitchitude.

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Before joining a fellow acolyte in the baptismal pool.

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See you there!

We're still working on our version of the Ten Commandments...look for updates throughout the week.

Posted July 12, 2005 10:53 AM
Comments

I have found my "church-home"!
As I am here in the desert, though I can't be there physically, I will be there in spirit.
Next meeting, if someone has a laptop and there's a way to connect at Church, maybe those of us who are geographically challenged can log on and attend virtually?

-- posted by: tllgrrl on July 15, 2005 08:52 AM

I'll be there in spirit(s).

-- posted by: SF Knitter on July 13, 2005 04:17 PM

Do you accept disciples from overseas? It might be difficult to attend services, what with an ocean between us and all, but I've started a new savings accout in order to make a pilgrimage in a couple of years. Or maybe we could start a European branch?

-- posted by: The Girlfriend on July 13, 2005 02:53 AM

That is a stunning Church. I will like someday to come to your church and drink the nectar that will make me wise for salvation.

-- posted by: Corny C on July 12, 2005 11:11 PM

I shall try to make the service after my show. If not, I will pray in absentia.

-- posted by: Bradley on July 12, 2005 05:07 PM

REST ASSURED MY DRUNKEN FRIENDS:
I just called Grandma's and they're open and if you have the cash - you'll get your drinks. Trust.

-- posted by: Rob Thurman on July 12, 2005 01:43 PM

Grandma is authorized to pour, and pour he will...

-- posted by: AngryBlackBitch on July 12, 2005 01:42 PM

dumb question..i thought they didnt have a liq liscence, thus defeats the purpose of a drunken religion

-- posted by: billy on July 12, 2005 01:32 PM

And he looked upon what he had created, and it was good.

-- posted by: This Guy on July 12, 2005 01:08 PM

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