Looking. Thinking. Feeling. Acting.

I have been especially crabby for most of October. And while prescription medicine could likely help me turn that frown upside down, I've decided that I would just change the way I interpret things, instead. Mind over medicine!

That way, I can adjust to a world gone crazy, all the while saving my pennies for a vacation, cigarettes and coffee.

Let me show you how you, too - can reinterpret tragedy for better mental health today and tomorrow.

Over at stltoday.com here's today's top stories:

1. Wilma regains Category 3 strength
2. Lincoln County deputy kills two in pickup
3. Four die when parked van is struck
4. School bus, SUV collide in city

My old way of thinking would have interpreted these stories as:

1. Global warming is such a bitch
2. Cops will kill your ass
3. Another sick, sad testament to "it bleeds it leads"
4. Yet another sick, sad testament to "it bleeds it leads"

Now that I have reprogrammed my mind, this is how I've reinterpreted the stories:

1. Living on the coast is dangerous
2. People in pick up trucks will get shot
3. People driving vans will get killed
4. Children in busses will get hit by people driving SUVs

See how easy it is?

By looking at these stories of suffering from a different vantage point, I realize that folks who drive are a bunch of crazy asses. And since my ass can't swim and a great vacation usually involves large bodies of water, I better learn...

So, please, I ask you - dear reader - please pay attention while driving your car. As a bicyclist who obeys the stop signs, the traffic lights and the rules of the road: PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE ASSHOLES!

My new state of mind (and my desire to live) would greatly appreciate it.

Oh! And if you're especially cute and have an indoor pool and would like to teach me how to swim, please let me know when we can start our lessons!