Yes Ma'am Means No Problems

Shocking News from London, y'all: when parents are involved in their child's education and children are taught some manners -- they do better in school.

This is a revelation?

All I know is that my country parents put up with some willful-ass behavior on my part. Still -- there were a few rules they taught me that linger to this day.

1. Do not - and I repeat - do not EVER mess with a lady's pocketbook.

2. There is a difference between being rude and being tacky. Being rude shows you have no class -- and being tacky shows you have no sense.

3. Do not back-talk your elders. Wait for them to leave the room before you talk trash about them. That's the smallest of courtesies you should extend to someone who has managed to live that long and still be that trifling.

4. Your ass will be busted with a hickory switch if and when you get caught acting up in school. Either you avoid trouble -- or you learn how not to get caught. You just need to decide which you think you're better at doing. And I can assure you that a couple of swats with that hickory switch made me very determined to never....EVER...get caught. Except for that lady's pocketbook business. Women, especially mothers, know when you mess with their stuff. Trust.

5. If you think that teacher is dumb -- just wait for the day when his asshole brother (the sherriff) gives you a speeding ticket and then his jackass-of-a father is the presiding judge when you challenge it in court.

On second thought, I dunno if that taught me manners -- but I did learn, very early on, that this world is not fair and is full of powerful nit-wits.

Powerful nit-wits who frequently raise tacky-ass, ill-mannered children.

Speaking of.....why wasn't Flora Bush more popular? Poor thing -- just look at her myspace profile.

Oh, well...that's other people's children for you.

Like school on Sunday.

No class.