sighphone

Buy an iPhone for $20,000 -- and they'll throw in shipping for free.

How generous.

Saab story

Want an iPhone - give me your car.

And a dollar.

Ai-yay-yayPhone

Get back to your Wii, wee-ones.

According to the American Medical Association, folks who spend hours-upon-hours, days-upon-days compulsively staring at lights flashing on a box aren't exhibiting any symptoms of addictive behavior.

Um.

Okay.

Yay, me!

Denial is a such a lovely river...just beware of crocodiles and those babies in baskets.

On another note:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* gay (11x)
* hell (4x)
* dead (3x)
* fuck (2x)
* dangerous (1x)

- - - - -

Thanks to Queerty for pointing out this useful rating system.

Queer as a three dollar bill Clinton

We face, therefore, a moral crisis as a country and as a people... It cannot be left to increased demonstrations in the streets. It cannot be quieted by token moves or talk. It is a time to act in the Congress, in your state and local legislative body and, above all, in all of our daily lives. It is not enough to pin the blame on others, to say this is a problem of one section of the country or another, or deplore the fact that we face. A great change is at hand, and our task, our obligation, is to make that revolution, that change, peaceful and constructive for all. Those who do nothing are inviting shame as well as violence. Those who act boldly are recognizing right as well as reality.

- - - - -

My goodness, such powerful words.

Are these Barack Obama's thoughts on ending discrimination against gay folks?

Oh, hell-the-fuck-no.

These are the words of John F. Kennedy, in his June 1963 Civil Rights Message to the country.

You see, there was a time in America when morality trumped public policy. Disdain, dislike, distrust, hatred, suspicion and fear molded our social/political infrastructure and left many folks without essential, basic, human rights.

And it’s a tradition of prejudice we still honor to this very day.

Whether it gay folks; folks without health care; veterans without limbs (and housing) or even those "suspicious" brown folks being tortured in concentration camps (American Style) -- there's still a great number of folks delegated to the margins of the most moral nation on the planet.

That's why I'd like to point out a fantastic article at The Huffington Post written by Nancy Goldstein, long-time friend of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks (celebrating two years, already).

Goldstein has decided not to put her money where the candidates' mouths aren't: namely discrimination.

It's compelling argument that silence isn't golden - in fact there's a great cost to complicity and cowardice.

Goldstein reminds us that political capital is earned and not given freely.

She particularly challenges Barack Obama:

I can't help but wonder about Obama, the son of a black, Kenyan father and a white, American mother. He was born six years before Loving v. Virginia ended all race-based legal restrictions on marriage in the US. Had he come of age earlier, would he have remained silent about those laws, which would have forced his father to pretend to be his mother's chauffeur as they drove across America? Would he have maintained that silence with folks who made those laws -- acting out of the same kinds of "deep moral convictions" and "religious beliefs" that now decree that marriage can only be between a man and a woman?

- - - -

Nancy Goldstein: Why No Democratic Presidential Candidate Is Getting My Gay Money.

Pick up the phone today!

Senator Christopher Bond -- Republican
Website: bond.senate.gov/

Washington, D.C.
Ph: (202) 224-5721
Fax: (202) 224-8149

Missouri
Ph: (573) 634-2488
Fax: (573) 634-6005

Senator Claire McCaskill -- Democrat
Website: mccaskill.senate.gov/

Washington, D.C.
Ph: (202) 224-6154
Fax: (202) 228-6326

Missouri
Ph: (816) 421-1639
Fax: (816) 421-2562

Representative Russ Carnahan -- Democrat
Website: carnahan.house.gov/

Washington, D.C.
Ph: (202) 225-2671
Fax: (202) 225-7452

Missouri
Ph: (314) 962-1523
Fax: (314) 962-7169

It Takes a Village

Art Prom 2007: Time to Fluff Your Dirty Pillows

I've been remiss in posting information about the return of the Mad Art Prom.

More information at Mad Art Gallery's Website is here.

Photos of me and mines acting-up are here -- Photo Gallery.

Happy Gays are Here Again

A snippet from my Gay Pride commentary at A Socialite's Life.

- - - -

...and while dip-shittery, douche-baggery and the D-Listed, D-cupped décolletage of drugged-up debutantes is today's latest gay rage - we must still honor our past.

The good news is that since we am what we is, we can keep it fresh....and kind of zany!

That's why, in this homo-rific holiday season, I'd like to share the charming, clever, and completely off-kilter antics of JudyCast. I puddle in my slacks every time I tune in!

- - - -

Lauren Bacall Goes to a Gay Bar

The last 30 seconds are simply...stunning.

Jihad: Thy Name is A T and Fucking T

My home phone isn't working.

And AT&T has been to my home twice in the past two months - three times in the past year.

What do they suggest when I choose to notify them about their crack-assed service?

Go out and fix it myself.

I'm not kidding.

This is the message that appears when I notified them online (because God forbid that someone at AT&T Service can actually pick up the damn phone).

Grrrrr.

Give me some string and some coffee cans.

I'm building my own motherfucking network.

________

Here's to underscoring one's feelings.

LOS ANGELES (AP) - "The Price Is Right" needs a host, and Rosie O'Donnell is interested. Very interested. The 45-year-old said on her blog recently that she was meeting with the "Price" people this week and that she "sure would" accept the job if they offer.

"I LOVE THE PRICE IS RIGHT," she wrote, the capitalization underscoring her feelings.

Febrile

Aches.

Pains.

Shivers.

Khaki colored coughs.

Hello, summer cold...good night, John-Boy.

Hell is for Children: A Father's Day Special

This week's contribution to A Socialite's Life offers 13(!) fantastic Fathers and hordes of Hell spawn for your holiday enjoyment.

Featuring Abby - The Black Exorcist and much, much more!

Simply scroll through the list of films on the right side of menu below, or click here.

Gay Bigots: intolerance cuts both ways

For those not in the know: New York Magazine insists that Michael Lucas in an important homosexual.

I don't comment on blogs that often, but NYC's A-Gay porn director (and "model") Michael Lucas really pissed me off -- and I had to leave a comment on his blog (see below). Lucas' commentary on Muhammad Ali came across as arrogant, elitist, hypocritical and racist -- and this is not the first time he's engaged in Muslim-bashing.

I'm not surprised by racist/fear-mongering commentary from a pornographer film director (think D.W. Griffith), but I do wonder:

is an "important" gay white man equating a black man's conversion to Islam with a head injury any less offensive than Isaiah Washington equating faggotry with an inability to be timely?

I don't know if Lucas will ever post my comment -- after all, accusing someone of having a "vacuous, narcissistic sense of entitlement" isn't exactly a way to begin a conversation.

We'll just have to see.

- - - -

Highlights of Michael Lucas' Entry

Nauseous Clay: Number 1 Chump

....I see [Vanity Fair has] stooped to putting Muhammad Ali on the cover together with presidential hopeful Barack Obama. I think this is an Obamanation, and I’ll tell you why.

First off; boxing. It’s barbaric. Victory is gained when the opponent is either 1) too severely hurt to continue (called a “technical knock out”) or 2) knocked down and unable to get up before the ref counts to ten. You mean to tell me two guys can’t think of anything more pleasurable than that to do with their fists?

Actually, I would not be surprised if the majority of boxers are repressed gay or bisexual men taking out their frustrations in a way that, alas, some societies still find acceptable...

Way back in 1983, the American Medical Association called for a ban on boxing...Is Muhammad Ali, who I think at birth was named Nauseous Clay, permanently brain damaged as a result of boxing? Let’s put it this way: His diagnosis is Pugilistic Parkinson’s Syndrome. The Pugilistic part of that means he got it from boxing.

Was permanent brain damage the reason why Nauseous Clay joined the Nation of Islam and later became a Sunni? I ask that, while admitting that it’s easy to understand why people so uncritically hail him as a great sports hero. Promoting interracial love and harmony, he once said: “No intelligent black man or black woman in his or her right black mind wants white boys and white girls coming to their homes to marry their black sons and daughters.” His first marriage ended because his wife didn’t want to conform to a Muslim dress code for women....

[Editor's note: he also suggests that seeing this particular issue will have vomitous results].
- - -

My Response

While I understand your indictment of boxing on medical/physical injury grounds, I find your disdain for Islam, gender roles and “barbaric” violence a completely hypocritical stance.

Ali’s religious affiliation has nothing to do with head injury. A great number of folks have converted to Islam without being k.o.’d. It’s a personal decision motivated by cultural, social, religious and personal needs. It fulfills and sustains many people’s identities and existence, and provides a foundation for constructing reality and meaning.

Judging from your films, you equate shoving large chunks of plastic up one’s ass as a means for ultimate personal satisfaction. Kind of simplistic if you ask me - but I’ll chalk that up to different strokes for different folks.

Secondly, a great number of your films are predicated on power, submission, humiliation and domination. Hey, I’m not knocking it – I think Arpad Miklos is hot as hell - but I don’t believe you are in any position to criticize another man’s self-definition of masculine power.

As for your disdain for Ali’s belief in traditional dress – I could only chuckle when contemplating the number of your leather films that rely heavily on conventional, albeit risqué, wardrobe choices and traditional role playing. Leather queens are some of the fussiest bitches I’ve ever seen when it comes to garment choices.

I recently watched a video of you with Lady Bunny. You asked LB if she envied your rings, baubles and business acumen. I have to ask you -- are power, money, possessions, a huge dick and a washboard stomach your defining characteristics of success?

One can only conjecture what sort of vacuous, narcissistic sense of entitlement compels you to constantly criticize and critique those whose lives are so very different than your own.

Entitlement is not enlightenment, Michael.

Before you judge a man who overcame segregation, poverty and racism by forcing his fist against another man’s face, I’d ask, is shoving your fist up another man’s ass for money any different?

- - - -

The Interview:

Sopranos: Speaking of Bushwhacked

May I have your attention for just a moment: More folks watched the series finale of ALF than the series finale of The Sopranos.

NBC's ALF, much like the Sopranos left the viewers asking questions:

[In the series finale,] Alf is about to be rescued by other survivors of his home planet, but is instead captured by the American military, and the viewer is left to ponder Alf's ultimate fate.

So for all y'all bemoaning The Sopranos lack of narrative closure, rest assured that another saga of White People Behaving Badly will be reinvented and reinterpreted for your viewing pleasure soon enough.

Meanwhile, the implications of secretive militaristic imprisonment, torture and illegal confinement of "aliens" continues unabated.

Poor ALF.

I hope he's not in Guantanamo.

Or Poland.

Or Romania.

Or God knows where.

- - - - -

RELATED

U.S. to begin building "home-like camps" for "aliens" -- Read More.

United Nations fact-finder denied access to assess human rights abuses in Texas "alien detention" center.

NBC's Nightly News only network news broadcast not to report Council of Europe's CIA secret prison claims - Alien Conspiracy, Anyone?

Poor Baby

or Sullen Sue

Mashed Potatoes, Dixie Cups and Lollipops

Are these children gacked-out on goofballs - or were folks naturally perky way back in the day?

The Day the Music Died

File This Under: You Can't Make This Shit Up

REO Speedwagon performs at Walmart. In the Men's Department.

I can't fight this feeling of nausea.
- - - - -

Poison'd by A Bitter Pill of Hate

Poison's new cover album features a rockin' version of Justin Timberlake's SexyBack (available exclusively at WalMart).

Poison is also on tour this summer. Their first gig: the appropriately named Bi-Lo Center.

You might be interested that Poison is performing in St. Louis on Thursday, August 2 (with Ratt) at Riverport, UMB Bank Pavilion, Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre St. Louis, a venue better known as The Clear Channel Spin-Off That Charges $40 for a Coke-Cola and a Pretzel.

Speaking of over-priced hype, your local cable provider is charging you $65 a month for a bevy of entertainment options, including “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels,” a reality dating show premiering July 15 on VH1.

"It’s extremely over the top. A couple of the girls got in actual fights. There’s motorcycle racing and motorcycle wrecks. There’s full-contact lingerie mud football ... It’s crazy."

Indeed.

And finally, another musical legacy is reinterpreted for a new generation -- Pickin' on Kelly Clarkson: A Bluegrass Tribute.

This special tribute takes the boldest songs from Kelly’s catalog and marries them to the rich sounds and traditions of bluegrass. A seasoned bluegrass ensemble comprising banjo, guitar, fiddle, mandolin, dobro, and bass recreate some of Kelly’s greatest musical moments: “Since U Been Gone,” “Miss Independent,” and “Walk Away” are performed and transformed with incredible skill and ingenuity taking these songs to a new musical dimension.

Um.

Yeah.

More like Bizarro Universe.

Me rock in corner now...humming.

The Mirror Has Two Faces, Y'all

Who is this living Blythe Doll?

Paris?

Britney?

More details at my weekly column for A Socialite's Life.

A Morning Workout That's Simple, Darling

Zsa Zsa Gabor Workout Tape

Everyone's favorite old Hollywood socialite introduces her favorite exercise routines in "It's Simple, Darling!"

Three Years and Counting

Lest we forget.

Reagan: Remembering the Dead.

Let them eat cake, indeed

Compare/Contrast these strories from ABC News

9 million children: uninsured or ignored by healthcare system.

Deamonte Driver

Driver's mother, Alyce, could not find a single dentist who would accept Medicaid. An abscessed tooth became a brain infection. Emergency treatment cost a quarter-million dollars, but it was too late.

"And my son had to die -- 12 years old -- because of a tooth."

- - - - -

$50,000 for a one-year-old's birthday party.

Families are forgoing "pin the tail on the donkey" in favor of renting out mega toy stores like FAO Schwartz for upwards of $25,000. Other attractive options include booking sleepovers at zoos and museums, even reenacting entire Broadway shows with professional actors.

Cherry blossoms overflowed on tables set with the finest china, and while the adults enjoyed the all-you-can-eat buffet spread, the kids were treated to a mini-amusement park with a magician, face painter, arcade games and even an inflated castle for jumping and playing...the price tag...about $50,000.

Fuck Sylvia Plath

Happiness is a Bad Poem

Darkness laps at the edges of my mind.
The slosh of despair is unrelenting.

Still...

The levees are holding.

Sorrow spills over, now and then,
a slow trickle
that begins to puddle.

Muddy and thick
on this side of death.

- - - - -

The Absence has its way of appealing:
Avoid the muck
Forget the mess
Erase the memory
Embrace the madness

I dare not dip my toes, my nose,
into that oblivion again.

I don’t tread well
and cannot swim.

- - - - -

It would be foolish to wade
into the tide…

…tried that before
and been swept away.

Innocuous to many
is dangerous for me.

Could I return from the sea of shadows?
Would I even want to?

I know the answer.
That is why I worry.

- - - - -

I shouldn’t tarry here
much longer.

That word.
Tarry.

I smile.
Though glum, I still enjoy words.

I cannot say the same
for the company of others.

I’m very lonely.
And very harsh.

While insight is dim, there’s still a spark.
I’ll stoke it and trudge away from these edges.

Once more.