Shocking news!

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is reporting that the dismal quality of St. Louis' public schools often results in families reconsidering living within city limits -- and very often results in families moving out of the city.

Once again, the Post has unearthed another shocking news story.

Was that an Earthquake or an attempt at demonic possession?

Ok.

So, it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm wide awake.

No. I'm not just getting in -- I'm getting up.

Actually, I was awoken (awaken?) by a low, dull rolling sound, windows rattling and my bed swaying from side to side.

I assumed it was an earthquake (very quickly, I might add)...but so far there's nothing on the news about it, leaving me just a tad aggravated.

I really do not have the time to fight the forces of darkness right now. Which, in a totally perverse way, I'm grateful for at this moment. I have shit to do.

- - - - - - -

Update: It was an earthquake!!!!!

Missouri to Enjoy First Chanel Outlet Mall

When Courtney Love wore fake Chanel, Harper's Bazaar flew her crazy ass to Paris to apologize to Karl Lagerfeld.

Sadly, I suspect, the people of Crestwood will simply be slapped with a lawsuit.

See ya at Crestwood Court in court!

Story: Crestwood Mall stupidly rebranded.

Sunset People

Thanks to Kelly (Happy Belated Birthday!) for the clip below, which features a segment from Donna Summer's 1979 TV Special (typing that made me shiver!).

It gets really fun around 3:10...

Crude Descending a Staircase

Everyone's favorite foul-mouthed, demoniacally possessed little girl has been immortalized in epoxy. Features realistically miniaturized shag carpeting. Reserve yours today!

Nuns on Ice

Below is a late-60's commercial for the German soft drink, Afri-Cola.

Hahs and Arghs!

Sony/BMG, the company responsible for Ricky Martin, is being sued for installing pirated software on their corporate servers!

It is alleged that 47% of all the company's software was illegally obtained!

Perhaps you'll remember:

In October 2007, it was announced that Sony BMG successfully sued Jammie Thomas. The single mother, who makes $36,000 a year, was ordered to pay $222,220 in damages for making 24 songs available for download on the Kazaa file-sharing network.

The corporate behemoth's arsenal of talent also includes Britney Spears, Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson, Shakira, Usher and, well...just about everybody else.

Let's do the math: 24 (probably shitty) songs = $222,220. What does 47% of the software for a $2.3 billion company amount to in this day and age?

You're right: 100% more lousy music!